Numbers

“What’s better: one or two?”

My dad had asked me this a long, long time ago. I think was seven or eight, so like 10 years ago.

“Two.” I reply without hesitation.

“Always?” he said.

Because I was young, I didn’t know what he meant by that. Of course two is always better than one, right? More is better than less?

About a later something made me think about that conversation. I finally realized what he meant by his answer of “always?”. Two is not always better. I asked my dad is he remembered when he asked me is if two is better than one. He did. We discussed it again (Keep in mind that my dad and I usually have these super long conversations about the most random things when we talk to each other). I was eight or nine years old. We put in terms of baseball. I have no idea why. But basically, we talked about how in baseball, it is better to have two home-runs instead of one, but is better to have one strike as opposed to two. We came up with so many different scenarios like this. Where for subject, there can be some aspects where more is better and there can other aspects where it is better to have less.

So why does this matter?

I have recently come to the conclusion that I now base my life off of numbers. My grades. How much sleep I get. How many calories I eat. How many calories I burn. How long I run. How far I run. And so much more.

In recent posts, you have read a lot about how much I run. But this time, I am going to focus more on food and calories.

I started calorie counting over the summer. It got to an extreme where I wouldn’t eat anything without knowing how many calories were in what I was eating. This lead to not eating at restaurants without knowing how many calories I would consume. Calories have ruined me. Today, there isn’t much that I eat in which I don’t know the nutrition facts. I’m no longer eating food. I am solely eating calories. When I go to the grocery store with my mom, it’s a habit that I look at the nutritional information on anything that I pick up. People have actually stared at me while doing it and then continue to glare at me as I put the food back and continue to walk past them. I’ve gotten used to it.

But anyway, it scares me not knowing.

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For me, this has so much truth to it. It is obsessive habit that I now have and is so hard to break. Just because I don’t look at food labels on some food, does’t mean I don’t know how many calories are in it. It just means I probably have the label memorized. You know how once you know something you can’t un-know it? Well sometimes I wish I could un-know this. But then again, for me, this is an instance in which I feel less is better.

I do not promote calorie counting to anyone. It will literally ruin you and make you so obsessed, like it has for me.

Please. Please. Please. Do not start this terrible habit.

XOXO

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